So God Made a West Virginian

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    And on the 8th day, God looked down on his planned paradise and said, “I need someone to do the job others won’t.” So God made a West Virginian.

    God said, “I need somebody willing to stand up for worker’s rights, oppose slavery, supply a nation with electricity and bridge the gap between the north and the south.” So God made a West Virginian.

    “I need somebody with arms strong enough to move boulders, feet sure enough to navigate through mountains, eyes sharp enough to spot poisonous snakes, a mind smart enough to survive in a dangerous, wild and wonderful place — I need somebody willing to be sincere and stand for righteousness when others have sold out.” So God made a West Virginian.

    God said, “I need somebody capable of living in a land where cell phones won’t always work, roads won’t always be what they should, corrupt politicians will abound and jobs will be scarce — I need someone to suffer catastrophic flooding, yet remain grateful for all the blessings in their life.” So God made a West Virginian.

    God had to have somebody willing to mine the coal that would produce the electricity that would power the hybrid car that would have a bumper sticker demanding that coal be banned. So God made a West Virginian.

    God said, “I need somebody willing to send their kids to war for a country of which half the population will not even know is a state and the other half will scoff and begin a litany of worn out jokes at the very mention of this place. I need a people who aren’t afraid to choose a criminal behind bars over one seated in the house of government. I need somebody who would humbly provide the wood for the Titanic, hundreds of thousands of homes across America and every backyard home improvement project east of the Mississippi

    “Somebody who’d watch as Washington politicians destroyed everything they had worked to create over a century and a half, yet still have the decency and love for country to line their bumpy streets with coal dust saturated American flags and teach their children to sing ‘God Bless America,'” so God made a West Virginian.

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